Thinking back over the last ten years of working with children, I have many stories from my career. It is hard to pick just one tale to pass along some wisdom (but I am sure I will be sharing more over time). As I reminisced about my former clients and students, one student stuck out the most. It was the most challenging situation I have dealt with and it was difficult to keep in my that she was just a child.
For the purpose of confidentiality students names are changed in this story.
A mother arrived at our center looking to enroll her child in our care. She had just been rejected out of another program. After speaking with her and showing her around the facility, we filed paperwork for her daughter to attend our program.
The first couple weeks were wonderful, I didn't understand how or why she was rejected from her previous program. About a month passed and this little girl, Anne*, was a pleasure to have in the center. She liked all the teachers and her classmates. After another month we started to see some behavioral challenges, mostly kicking or hitting. We handled the behavior with redirection, at first. It only seemed to escalate over time. After six months, she was physically abusive to other classmates, teachers and staff members. Not only was she physically abusive, she began using verbal abuse (things a four year old should not even hear) towards students and teachers.
It began a pattern of behavioral problems, so much so, that communication throughout the day with her parents was a normal process. After another month of abuse, I was forced to ask for some action on the parents part. We helped with evaluations and whatever the therapists needed to help her. After she left our program, I struggled with the thought, "Did I do everything I could?"
After some time and many talks with colleagues, I came to the realization that unfortunately you can't care for every child. Some times children need to be placed someplace else. This story is just a small facet of my career and why my passion is so great for helping children. Every child needs a teacher who cares.
My advice to other colleagues is to always try every different options but know that some children are better in a different place.
~Miss Megan
* name changed for confidentiality.
Megan,
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad you shared this story. It does sound like a very difficult situation. What I thought was so wonderful about the story was your level of compassion. You were concerned after the child was no longer in your care and to me that shows you have a high level of sympathy. This was something I learned as a mentor in a parenting class with our county's Youth and Family Initiative. Not everyone is capable of those qualities. Also, I really like your blog layout, color, etc. its very peaceful! You said you like the outdoors....you should definitely visit Colorado if you haven't..tons of hiking, biking and rafting!!!
Hello Megan,
ReplyDeleteAs I begin to read your posted a big smile appeared across my face. It was almost if I was telling the story.I have walked in those same shoes.I have experience this same type of behavior numerous times in my career.Often times I have to question myself to see if I'm in the right field.But because my passion for children I realized that there is a child that needs me.Yes, there are some children that should be put in other places but that child that is misbehaving might need me too. Some child misbehave because of lack of attention or affection.Sometimes they only want to know someone cares.
Thanks for the advice